Shopping with kids

How do you cope shopping with four kids?

Well, Possums, I became very experienced at it and have a few tips to share with you.

1. Don’t stress, just do what you have to do and don’t apologize to anyone.

2. If it helps you to do a snatch-and-grab for womens clothing, pay for everything quickly, take them home to try on and return the things you don’t like next time, then just do it. Just make sure you shop at places that have easy return policies.

3. If you can get around the supermarket in the time it takes your three-year-old to eat a soft-serve ice cream, then buy her one, stick her in the seat of the trolley and go for it. Try to get back to your car before the child finishes the cone. Haven’t quite achieved that myself yet, but it would be praise-worthy.

4. If your kids are like mine then as soon as you enter a department store, especially the women’s or men’s clothing sections at Myers, the kids scatter in all different directions and hide inside clothing racks. I used to stress and get them to all come out, but I worked out that even though I can’t see them, they can usually see me (from their vantage points inside a rack of suit coats or whatever). So I let them go for it these days. They scatter, hide, I shop and when I leave the store I just shout “I’m going now!” And like magic, four little girls appear from every-which direction as I walk out with hardly a glance back. If they knock clothes off the racks in the process I wouldn’t know, I figure just getting them out of there is help enough and I’m happy these days to leave the aftermath for the shop assistants.

5. If your child behaves in an embarrassing way then continue shopping but distance yourself and occasionally look around as if to say, who’s child is this anyway? Perfect the unaffected expression for just this sort of occasion.

These days, they are a little older and, as well as hiding, they occasionally try on the garments for effect. I turned around whilst shopping at our local suburban Myers for clothing for my husband last Saturday to that find my 10 year-old had slipped into a black suit jacket. The jacket was hanging on a rack in front of a line of identical jackets, as is usual in these stores. Look Mum, she said, School Principal pose: hands clasped, stern facial expression, but still a little girl inside a massive suit, hanger attached. Truly a funny sight! Ah, the joys of having “creative” children!

Well now possums, I’m sure many of you identify with this aspect of my chaotic life! What are your tried and true tactics for confronting The Public and/or The Shop Assistant?