Lessons in Morality 1

Hello Possums. Sometimes I think the world would be a better place if we could look at it through the eyes of a child.

This is the first of a series of stories about my moral learnings at the hands of 7 year-old children. This story is about my second eldest daughter who is now twelve, but was seven at the time.

Rosie and Her Buddy

At my children’s primary school they have a buddy system. This is a peer support system whereby a preppie (child in their first year of school) is assigned a buddy who is in grade 5. They continue to be buddies right through the following year also, when they are in grade 1 and grade 6 respectively. Once a week, the grade 5 or 6 buddies visit the grades of the younger children and together they complete a task. It is usually a task that the prep or grade 1 would need help with, so the children work together to complete it. Often buddies play with each other informally in the play ground at recess and lunch time too, as cross-age friendships form.

Rosie became very close to her buddy when she was in prep and the relationship continued through her grade 1 year also. Rosie and Emily became friends and would often spend time together unofficially. Rosie told many a story about what she did with Emily during these years. Once Emily hand-made a little school uniform for Rosie’s favorite Groovy Girl doll that she often brought to school. We heard so much about Emily that we felt we knew her really well, even though we hadn’t met her.

In term 3 of Rosie’s grade 1 year I worked with the teachers at the Primary School in their classrooms as a visiting science teacher. It was wonderful working with primary aged children because they are uninhibited with natural curiosity and enthusiasm. It was one of my most rewarding teaching experiences. My own children were proud to have me working in their grades too. I worked one day per week at their school for a term, and went into each classroom twice. Soon the day came when I started working with the grade 6 classes. On that morning, Rosie was really excited that I would be working in Emily’s grade.

I introduced myself to the grade 6 class, explained that we would be making crystals and asked them if they had ever seen a crystal before. The children were enthusiastic and contributed to the discussion freely. One of the children shocked me when she spoke, but I tried not to let my shock show on my face. In fact shocked is an understatement, I was in fact horrified. This child spoke through her neck. She had obviously had a tracheotomy because there was sort of a hole in her neck, with some sort of insertion to maintain the opening. When she spoke she sounded like Darth Veda. The shock of the noise registered with me first, and then the horrific nature of her experiences overwhelmed me. Here was an 11 year-old who had obviously suffered in many ways. My emotional response was hard to contain. If I had to describe it I might choose the words: revulsion, pity, remorse, awe. Her acceptance by other children in the grade also astonished me.

After the introduction, the children began to set up the equipment at their tables. It was during this more informal part of the lesson that the girl with the tracheotomy came up to me and introduced herself as Emily.

Not once in all of the stories that Rosie told about Emily did we ever hear that Emily had a hole in her neck or that she spoke in a spooky, raspy way through it. All I had known about Emily in the eighteen months prior to this was that Rosie loved her and that she was a kind and gentle friend. As far as Rosie at seven was concerned, the other stuff didn’t even rate a mention!